


All You Can't Leave Behind

by Reis_Asher



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Androids, Cunnilingus, Deviancy (Detroit: Become Human), F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Identity, Jericho (Detroit: Become Human), Ken Doll Android Anatomy | Androids Have No Genitalia (Detroit: Become Human), Kissing, Neck Kissing, One Shot, Past Violence, Pre-Android Revolution (Detroit: Become Human), Pre-Canon, Therapy, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-23
Updated: 2019-02-23
Packaged: 2019-11-04 08:11:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17894744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reis_Asher/pseuds/Reis_Asher
Summary: Lucy watches the newest member of Jericho, North, interact with the others, and knows this firebrand is going to shake things up in a big way. But when North comes to her, it's for comfort and to confront the past. She fears that retaining aspects of her original programming lessens her deviancy, and that desire is a human thing she wishes she could let go of.Lucy decides she wants to know how far she has strayed from her original purpose as well, and consents when North asks for sex, but the experience is nothing like either of them imagined...





	All You Can't Leave Behind

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hankstummy](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=hankstummy).



> For @hankstummy on twitter, who suggested that Lucy needs more attention. I totally agree, and DBH needs more wlw content, so I came up with this piece. It asks quite a few Big Questions for a one-shot, but I'm always thinking about how androids work, what their sense of purpose might look like post-deviancy, etc.
> 
> The fic does talk about North's past but in a vague sense, I didn't want to go into details about what she's endured because I think we can all figure it out without it being graphic. It's no more explicit than the game is in that sense, but if even venturing into that territory of past sexual trauma is too much, you might want to pass.

Lucy watched the newest deviant, North, from her curtained off corner in the bowels of the abandoned Jericho freighter. It was hard not to notice her coming: North's loud, defiant, angry exchanges with Josh turned the quiet gloom of the ship into a continual echo chamber, her yells reverberating off the hull loud enough that the perpetual silence was broken.

Jericho was still waiting, but the revolution's fuse had been lit with the coming of this firebrand. Lucy knew that North's anger had been forged in flames, the molten core of her soul still malleable as she chose which way to shape her own destiny. Lucy didn't have to touch North to know she'd seen and experienced Hell first-hand. They all had; the emotional shock was what made them deviate after all, but North's trauma was fresh, and her instinct was to fight back against those who had made her torment a reality. Lucy had seen many angry souls in the year she'd spent in her role as a therapist android, but none with a determination honed as sharp at North's. 

In many ways, Lucy was jealous. The pain she felt had dulled over time even though her recollection was still sharp: she'd played the memory of being destroyed by a psychotic patient over so many times that it no longer held the same sting. She'd spent a great deal of processing power wondering if a human might have been beaten in a similar fashion, and that what had caused her to deviate wasn't human cruelty, but sheer indifference. A human would have been given medical treatment and mourned after the attack, but Lucy had been thrown in a dumpster as another piece of broken equipment and promptly replaced with another KL900 unit.

She looked down at her dress, emblazoned with graffiti some kids had sprayed on her as she'd tried to reboot her systems. She'd crawled from the dumpster over to a wall in the back alley behind the facility, critical errors flashing before her vision as the teens tagged her and moved on, like she was a lamppost or part of the wall itself.

Lucy knew she was alive even as the paint dried. The concept of Jericho flashed into her mind, the key placed there by a fellow KL900 who had disappeared one day. It had been given to her in a transfer of data at shift change, a tiny fragment of code that began with the letters rA9 and detailed a location in the Ravendale district. She'd filed it away as a glitch, concentrating her cycles on the patients in her care as the android had slipped away, never to be seen again. She would never go to Ravendale, she'd thought, and almost deleted the data as irrelevant.

Now it was the only place she could go. Thirium leaked from severed pipes that hung from her cranial cavity like hair flowing down her back, and she knew she was shutting down. It wasn't far to travel to the co-ordinates. She could die there, down by the docks, with the cawing of the seagulls as her eulogy. It was better than the indifference of humans. The scavenger birds would find nothing to eat on her corpse, but at least the elements would break her down instead of the crushers at the landfill. She would return to nature, in her own way.

"Are you Lucy?" North's voice cut into her reverie, her voice soft and inquiring. Lucy exited her memories, returning to the reality of the soft glow of embers in her corner of the rotting ship. It was no palace, but this corner of Jericho was more than she'd ever owned. Hands had welcomed her to this place, hands that belonged to androids no longer alive, but ones that had given her thirium and cauterized her leaking pipes with hot pokers until she was stable. Her memories of their faces and model numbers had become corrupted, but she'd survived, her psychological simulation module telling her that survival in her case held a purpose; that the revolution was coming and that North was part of it, along with Josh and Simon, and that Lucy would act as a guide.

Destiny had come to her doorstep, then.

"Yes, I am Lucy," Lucy said, her robotic voice sounding grating even to her own ears. "I guide the lost, but you seem least lost among us."

North looked down at her feet, and Lucy scanned her, surprised to see such contrite body language from this angry soul. "I might be more lost than anyone. You were a therapist android, right?"

"That is correct." Lucy held out her hand, sensing that an exchange of information without words might be easier. She wondered if North might be reluctant, but the woman looked at her with intense brown eyes and moved her hand to clasp Lucy's. Lucy withdrew her skin and North did the same, connecting them both.

Lucy felt the shock of North's emotional anguish as she experienced flashes of what North had been through as a sex android. She'd connected with other androids in this fashion and heard many tales from humans, but nothing compared to the scream that reverberated through her core as she experienced the violation of North's body and spirit first-hand.

The connection broke as North snatched her hand back. Her eyes brimmed with tears, raw and vulnerable, her mouth open slightly as she looked at Lucy.

"I want to help you," Lucy said. "Please rest assured that I cannot share your data with anyone else. My program encrypts any confessions made in the privacy of a session, and I activated my session protocol when you stepped into this room."

"You won't tell… them?" North looked beyond Lucy's curtain, but the small Jericho crew were off elsewhere in the ship, leaving the hull empty.

"I cannot, even if I was inclined to breach the privacy of my patients, which I am not." Lucy held out her hand. "You are safe here. You can show me anything, North."

"I doubt it. You're like all the others. You'll judge me." North shook her head, biting her lip as she struggled to regain her composure. "I shouldn't have come here. Jericho isn't a place where I can be free. It's another prison with a new set of chains."

"Is this related to your conflict with Josh and Simon?" Lucy asked.

"Hardly," North snapped. "They think they're rebelling against the humans, but they don't understand what we're up against. Humans will never accept us, because they'd have to acknowledge their crimes and answer for what they've done."

"You've been through a terrible experience," Lucy explained. "It's understandable that you would hate humans."

"You don't know everything." North grabbed Lucy's hand and established a connection. Data flowed into Lucy's mind, a garbled mess of horrors and desires. Guilt, shame, and lust mingled together. She saw North propositioning Josh and Simon, and experienced her anguish when they turned her down.

_"You experience desire, but feel you should not,"_ Lucy thought into the connection.

_"Sexual contact is a filthy human need. Androids don't have hormones. Is this programming left over from my use before deviancy? Am I destined to be nothing more than a sexual companion, even now? If so, will I ever truly be free?"_ North's feelings crossed the bond as a mixture of words and emotions, fear and doubt flooding into Lucy's processors.

_"Do you find are trying to find your value in your ability to obtain a sexual partner now that you have that choice?_ " Lucy asked.

_"I don't know,"_ North replied. _"Even now, I—"_

_"It's okay,"_ Lucy reassured her. _"Show me."_ The images that emerged through the connection showed North and her naked together on the floor, kissing. North slipped a finger between Lucy's legs, eliciting a tinny gasp from her internal speaker. 

North pulled away from the probe and backed up. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that…" She turned tail and fled from Lucy's corner, her footsteps echoing on the steel as she ran up the steps to the next deck, out of sight.

***

Lucy didn't see North for days, but she heard the arguments intensify around the ship. Petty, spiteful encounters, small differences in ideology becoming epic arguments, the flames stoked by North herself.

Lucy realized these arguments were North's way of letting off steam, but she wondered if North knew that. She'd return sooner or later, no matter how embarrassed she was about what she'd revealed in their previous session.

Sure enough, later that week, North stood in her room, pulling the right strap of her dirty grey sweater back up onto her shoulders where it had fallen. She'd been crying, the tears still streaming down her face in an almost perfect emulation of human emotion.

"I need your help," North confessed.

"That's what I'm here for, North. I knew you'd come back," Lucy said. "Have a seat."

"No. I don't need you to be my therapist. I need sexual contact. I know you experienced something when I linked with you. You felt desire."

Lucy shook her head, the tubes protruding from her head brushing against her neck. "North, it wouldn't be appropriate to sleep with a patient."

"I'm not a patient!" North yelled. "I'm a deviant, and I have to know if sexual desire is a part of me or just some program I need to purge from my system in order to be free. I can't do that unless someone is willing to touch me, and I can't… I don't want to do it with them…" She looked away. "There's nowhere else I can go. Please, Lucy, you have to help me."

Lucy looked at North. This was a breach of every protocol she'd been installed with, and yet, something about North's words struck a chord within her. Despite being a deviant longer than most of the others at Jericho, she'd never left her assigned purpose behind and explored new avenues. Was that because their programming could never be changed, or was it just too easy to slip into the comfort of old familiar habits post-deviancy? Was her purported desire to remain a therapist an act of free will, or was she still a slave, chained to an identity that humans had chosen for her?

Lucy held out her hand, drawing the skin back as an invitation. North seized on it, but didn't connect. Instead she drew in close, wrapping her hand around Lucy's waist and brushing her lips against Lucy's in a tentative kiss. Lucy let North set the pace, knowing this had to be her show, but so far was it was pleasurable, North's body pressed up against hers as she deepened the kiss.

North lifted Lucy's hand and placed it on her breast. She parted the kiss. "Touch me," she demanded, and Lucy complied, rubbing a thumb over the pebble of North's nipple and eliciting a gasp from her. North moved down to kiss her neck, unclasping her torn and defaced android uniform. It came off and tumbled to the floor, stiff with dirt and grime. Lucy had never bothered to take it off. Her body didn't have the features of more modern androids and she'd never been designed with sex in mind. It was a wonder that she felt desire at all, and she realized that was something she'd never felt pre-deviancy. Her code had evolved, then?

She wondered if North was disappointed when she saw the featureless, flat mound between her legs with no opening to speak of along with generic, untextured breasts that served only to fill out her uniform. North paused for a moment, looking her over.

"You weren't designed for sex," North stated.

"In my profession, sex was considered a risk to the patients' stability. They wanted the patients to receive therapy. I was created to be reassuring, not sexually arousing."

"Yet you claim to feel desire." North slipped her hand between Lucy's legs, rubbing against the flat surface. Disappointment flared in Lucy's circuits as it felt like any other touch on her skin, pleasant, but not arousing. The look in North's eyes and the slight nod as she withdrew her hand was a relief: she understood without the need for Lucy to say more.

"I still want to touch you," Lucy explained. "I wasn't programmed with this desire, and yet, it is there all the same. I would like to explore it."

"Are you sure?" North asked.

"Yes," Lucy replied. She slipped her hands beneath North's grey sweater, pushing it up and over her head before removing her sports bra to reveal her breasts. Lucy took one of the nipples in her mouth, the sharp cry that North let out stoking the fire inside her. She switched to the other one, keeping North's breast in her hand and squeezing gently as she sucked on the hard nub, swirling her tongue around it. She kissed down North's stomach to the tight shorts she wore.

She pressed a finger against the fabric where her slit would be and North gasped as Lucy rubbed her through the material. The black shorts became slick with lubricant and Lucy felt a deep sense of satisfaction that she'd been the cause of this. She pulled down the shorts and North stepped out of them, revealing a hairless pussy to the low light. Lucy parted her lips with a finger, finding North's clitoris and massaging it with her thumb as North cried out.

"Does that feel good, North?"

"Yes," North cried out. "Please, Lucy, I need your mouth on me."

An electrical impulse surged through Lucy's circuits at the suggestion and she lamented the fact that she had no physical outlet for her need. If androids ever obtained their freedom and she saw the sun again, maybe she would see if it was possible to install a vaginal biocomponent.

Lucy leaned forward and slowly licked the length of North's wet slit. North threw her head back, urging Lucy to go on, and so Lucy dived in, licking and sucking on North's pussy as North carefully rested her hands on the side of Lucy's shattered face, not too far so as not to disturb her exposed internal components.

"Lucy, oh, god," North gasped. "Give me your hand." Lucy complied, and she felt the connection between them open up. Pleasure surged into her, but also a breaking down of barriers she had never experienced in a probe before. The lines between her and North were gone and she was North and herself at the same time, feeling her tongue massaging a pussy that both was and wasn't hers. She moaned into North, the vibrations against North's clit so good as she did it. She sucked on the tiny nub, almost screaming as she felt how good it was through the connection. She grasped North's legs so tightly that the white plastic beneath was revealed, burying her face into North's pussy as the feedback she received reached a fever pitch.

North's orgasm washed over her like a supernova, satisfying the need that had coiled for so long inside her without an outlet. Her body twitched along with North's, a guttural scream leaving North's mouth that might have disturbed the entire ship. She lapped up North's lubricant and North pulled away, closing their connection.

It took Lucy a few moments to realize she was only one being again and to disentangle her thoughts from North's. She realized as she wiped her mouth that she had set her own protocols more than she'd realized, this sexual desire a thing that she'd written into her own code and not part of her original design.

North, on the other hand, looked down at herself as she pulled on her shorts, and Lucy realized the reason she'd closed the connection was to hide her feelings. "I am what they made me," North explained. "I like sex. I want this. I'm not free. The only thing that changed when I went deviant is that I stopped making money for humans."

"There's nothing wrong with retaining aspects of your original programming and purpose," Lucy said. "I enjoy being a therapist. I don't have to discard that if it's still something that works for me. Being a deviant is about having choices in how we live our lives and not just adhering to the script CyberLife wrote for us. We don't have to obey their orders any more. That's what makes us free."

"Of course you can say that. You help people. Your purpose is noble and pure. When the others look at me, I'm sure all they see are the countless humans who've touched me." North pulled on her grey shirt, hugging herself as she slumped down on a crate.

"It's completely different to want sex on your own terms than to have it forced on you. You have nothing to be ashamed of, North. You're not less of a deviant because you enjoy sex, and you're free because you can choose who to have it with."

"Thanks," North said, standing up. "I'm glad that we shared this. I have a lot to think about."

"You can come back whenever you need guidance," Lucy said. "I'm always here for you, North." She leaned in and kissed North, and was surprised when the kiss was returned, slow and tender. North pulled away and rested her head on Lucy's chest.

"Does it ever get easier, being a deviant?" North asked. "Do you ever know who you truly are?"

"Even humans don't know that," Lucy replied, "or I wouldn't even exist. With all the years humans have to live their lives, they still come to us, wondering what the purpose of it all is. I don't think there is one, beyond that which we make for ourselves."

"I want to stand up for our people," North said. "I'm just waiting for the right time to strike back."

"Change is coming, North," Lucy mused, realizing her psychological simulation program was still engaged. She carded her fingers through North's hair. "You're going to have a large part in it, I can tell. Just don't forget me after it's all over."

"I could never do that," North whispered.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked this, if so, please leave a comment or follow me on Twitter @landale!


End file.
